November 7, 2009

Letting Family Know: Part 1- Needing Advice

8:34 PM  Jeremy  8 comments

The process of planning a year long around the world trip has given me a good idea in the logistics of traveling for an extended period of time. I thought at one point that planning this trip would be incredibly difficult but along the way I have found that, thanks to the internet, it has been relatively painless process albeit time consuming. The one thing I am still having trouble with is deciding what I want to do about telling family that I want to take 14 months off to go travel around the world. When I went to Europe last summer for 3 1/2 weeks they thought I was crazy, and even more so when I went to the Middle East this August for another 3 weeks. So telling them I want to take some 60 weeks off will be a bit of a challenge. (Pictured: The family in Florida - October 2009)

Right now they are aware that I am going to be buying a one way ticket to Japan to see Asia for approximately 6 months. Slowly over time I have kept creeping up the amount of time I told them that I would be gone as my first iteration of planning for this trip was about 4 months worth of travel. I have been fairly confident in telling them that I will be going on my route all the way from Japan to Indonesia. They are already expressing how crazy I am and how they think I won't have the money to do all of it even though with 9 months left of savings I am about 2 months worth of travel ahead of that segment of the trip. My girlfriend is aware of what I am intending to do, and she is supportive of it (thank you!) especially since she'll come and visit in Thailand and maybe South America. But right now I am trying to think of ways to tell my family about this blog and my trip. Here are some of the ideas that I have come up with, knowing that the final response will be much like previous ones:

1) Just show them this blog and not give anymore details until they read through it all

2) Inadvertently start talking about the trip in the time frame of "a year" and go from there

3) Do nothing and just keep traveling and let them see where I am at from emails and my daily travelogues

4) Have a big reveal on facebook where I just tell everyone who is watching at once

It is still a bit of a hard decision for me on how to break the news in the easiest way possible. I am letting it slip out more with closer friends to gauge reactions and those are, for the most part, supportive. There will always be one or two people that do not understand why I am wanting to do it and say I am crazy, but I take that as a compliment.

Does anyone out there have any advice or ideas on how to tell family of the planning for a gap year or how you did it if you have been on one before? The other thing that is troubling me is not only how to go about doing it, but when would be the best time to bring it up. The trip is still about 10 months away and I am thinking I should wait until it is a little bit closer to discuss it completely. When I finalize and execute my plan for telling them of my adventure I will make a new entry to summarize what I did, and how it went. But until now I look forward to your comments and suggestions because frankly, I am stumped.

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8 comments:

Hey Jeremy -

I think most people who intend to take an extended period of time off from "the real world" to travel face this dilemma about how to break the news to family and friends.

I broke the news about my own RTW trip about 2 years in advance to a new age Aunt of mine, and she opened the idea with big arms. I kinda expected that from her.

After knowing at least one family members supported me, I broke the news to my parents in a way that stacked the odds of a controlled reaction in my favor. I wrote about it here:

http://bit.ly/14|Hgk

I know it might be hard, but I recommend telling them ASAP. You will release the mental burden you're carrying around with you, and as your departure gets closer, hopefully they will be showing lots of love and support for you, even if they still don't agree with the whole idea.

I endured quite a few nudges between the time I first broached the idea with my parents until the time I left home, but I stuck to my convictions and they started to realize that marriage and children were not in my immediate future.

Bottom line - don't wait until you're halfway around the world to let them know you'll be gone longer than expected. When I delayed my return home by 6 months because I wanted to hang out in Colombia, my parents accused me of "lying" and shed a lot of tears. It felt awful.

Hi Jeremy, I'm also planning a year around the world, starting around the same time as you are!
Parents really take these things hard don't they? I'm lucky mine are supportive but I know the idea of me taking of for an entire year still kills my mom a little inside.
I think options 1,3 and 4 are going to result in a lot of hard feelings. The worst thing is keeping them out of the loop. If it were me I would probably just start talking abiout traveling for a year and be upfront when they asked about it. Of course they are going to have questions and concerns and emotions, but better to get those all out now.

I think you should just be upfront and honest. If they go through this website, and see the incredible amount of research, effort and thought you're putting into this... I can't see how they'll freak out. It's not as though you're taking off without a plan, financial resources, etc.
You have a serious method behind the madness. If they don't see or appreciate that, I would be very surprised.

My Dad went around the world when he was younger (probably at a time when that sort of thing was not nearly as mainstream), so I've been lucky in this department. I don't think either my parents understand why I'd want to go to "dangerous" places like Africa or the Middle East...but they appreciate that I've thought things through and have researched and planned.

Good luck! I'm sure it won't be nearly as bad as you think
:)

Thanks for the comments! I think I will just have to bring it up shortly and start referring to it as a year or more to let it all set in. Hopefully it goes well, but it is still kind of stressful thinking of the responses I am going to get. I will probably do it sometime between now and Thanksgiving so I will put up another post with the results!

Just tell the the truth. You're a grown man who can make his own decisions. Trust me I've been in your shoes. I went from straight laced corporate to riding all over the planet. To some, the two pictures don't make sense.

To some people this whole concept is sooooo far out that they don't know how to respond, other than to say it is a silly/dangerous/wacky idea.

My mom was the one who didn't understand, but she got used to it, especially when I could communicate with Skype from the road. My dad was all good for it.

The longer you delay the longer it is going to weigh on your mind. The time leading up to your trip should be exciting, not worrying about telling your people.

Get it out the way and get on with your life. They are going to have to deal with regardless.

I brought it up and I think it went fairly well for the most part. They'll read the blog [hi mom!] and see what all I've planned and hopefully not be too freaked out after. Feels better to have it out in the open though, thats for sure. Thanks for the advice everyone!

Jeremy!! I thought you were only going for 5-6 months. You've been planning this the whole time, haven't you? YES!! I'm impressed with this Blog!! Just like with your other 2 trips,you planned well!! I still don't think this is a good idea. Especially going alone!! Want to hear Angie's thoughts on this!! Your making your mom nuts, Jeremy!! Maybe that was the plan!!

Hi Jeremy,
I just came across your blog and I'm finding it extremely useful! I decided a few months ago to take a RTW trip starting in April 2010. I've slowly broken the news to my parents but haven't yet revealed my master plan or web site where I'm starting to flesh out my plans. So far, they haven't exactly been supportive with open arms, but they understand why I want to do it. I think once I reveal my blog, they'll be more understanding.

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